About this blog:
I blog on random Pop Culture subjects. I also post Top 13 Lists. I could do a cliched Top 10 like everyone else, but then I'd be just like everyone else.


Monday, May 17, 2010

“Why Avatar is the Worst Movie Ever”

By my own admission, I have never, and will never see James Cameron’s equally overrated and over-marketed film “Titanic”, which I’ve always assumed was the worst film of all time. But I swallowed my pride and rented “Avatar”, to see what all the fuss was about. With the exception of “Gummo”, “Stan Helsing”, and possibly “Titanic”, “Avatar” is the worst film of all time. How can I say it beats out three films I’ve already stated are worse? Because “Avatar” was the most hyped up film of all time, beating out even the equally horrendous “Blair Witch Project”. It also beat out “Titanic” to become the highest domestic grossing film of all time, meaning more people’s minds have been tainted by this utter garbage than from any other film. Let’s look at some of the many criticisms I have of this film:

It has horrendous language for a PG-13 film that the studio knew a lot of kids would want to see. And then there’s the mating scene…

Blatant cruelty to animals that didn’t need to be in the plot at all.

Terrible sound editing. The audio levels of the sound effects and the score are mixed ridiculously loud, while the volume of the dialogue is mixed pathetically low. You have to choose between either suffering through eardrum blasting effects and music in order to hear what the characters are saying, or keep your hearing abilities intact, but struggle to follow the dialogue.

It’s very boring for a film that’s being hailed as “The Greatest Adventure of All Time”. It never became interesting. Some films warrant being extremely long, such as Braveheart, but his film would be boring even if it were trimmed down to 90 minutes. Most of the content of the film could have, and should have ended up as deleted scenes on the DVD’s special features. At no point in time did this film ever catch my interest.

The plot is very predictable and unoriginal. It borrows heavily from “The Cell”, “Dances With Wolves”, “Attack of the Clones”, and even “Braveheart”.

The dialogue is terrible, both spoken and subtitled. Lines like, “His alien smell fills my nose.” and “Outstanding!” really don’t motivate my viewing instincts.

Seeing scantily clad blue people is like having a bad nightmare after eating a jar of pickles just before bed, in which a village of Smurfs were stretched out to become tall and skinny, while their clothes stayed the same size.

Joel Moore, the dorky actor from “Grandma’s Boy” and “Dodgeball” in a role in which we’re supposed to take him seriously as a brilliant scientific mind? He’s a one-dimensional actor. Every character he plays comes across as exactly the same, and serious is not an adjective I would use.

Sam Worthington, the clichéd lead actor hero, is basically a John Cena clone, and that’s not meant as a compliment. He’s quite boring and monotone, even in very emotional scenes. And couldn’t they come up with a better character name than “Jake”?

Sigourney Weaver as the fowl-mouthed lead scientist certainly does not behave like a professional intellectual. Her character might be more believable as a bartender or evil stepmother, but not as the head of the most expensive and impressive technological breakthrough of all time.

With how much each avatar costs, why isn’t there anyway they can track it or see where it is? They have someone in the lab who is controlling each one with their minds, so why can’t they be tracked?

For how much money they spent on making this film, the effects are very unimpressive. If this film had come out 15 years ago, I might have been impressed. At times, I thought I was watching the “Land of the Lost” television series from the 1970’s.

James Cameron once again spent a ridiculous amount of money, delivered a terrible film, successfully marketed it to the sheep that are the general public, and lined his pockets with millions of dollars he did not earn. I hope all that money helps him sleep at night, when he realizes how badly he’s raped the US film industry.

©2010 Denim McDemus

1 comment:

  1. i refuse to see avatar if given the choice of death or watching that movie id choose death i figure its about the same :)..pamela

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