“My Trip Back to 1984”

I’ve always loved music. When I was still forming inside my mother’s womb, I was dancing around at my dad’s band practices. I grew up exposed to the great Rock music of the 60’s and 70’s pumping out of my parent’s stereo, mostly from records and 8-track tapes. I was alive for vinyl, but was I young enough that most of my own records were Sesame Street related. By the time I started seeking out musical tastes of my own, the dawn of the cassette tape had arrived. Vinyl was still around, and I had many 45’s, but the new technology that allowed me to play a little tape on a little personal player called a Walkman sucked me in. The first cassette tape I owned was Billy Joel’s “An Innocent Man”, a great album, which unfortunately is usually overlooked in favor of his earlier work.

My second album on cassette tape was one of the greatest Rock N’ Roll albums of all time, Van Halen’s 1984. It was the pinnacle of the band’s career, and contained many classic songs such as the mega-hit “Jump”, the sultry fun of “Hot For Teacher”, and the brilliant rock barrage of “Panama”. Despite the commercial success and critical acclaim of the album, the band was falling apart. Personality conflicts, differing musical visions, and side projects drove a wedge between the clashing egos of energetic front man David Lee Roth and guitar virtuoso Eddie Van Halen, leading to Roth’s departure from the band and the group’s musical decline. Always being a huge fan of Diamond Dave, that’s also the point where they lost my allegiance.

Now 28 years after their last full album together, the Van Halen brothers and Roth have reunited, minus long-time bassist Michael Anthony, recording an album of new material, “A Different Kind of Truth”, and embarking on a tour of the same name. On Monday night, I went to the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia to see if three people who used to hate each other could re-capture the magic none of them have had since their breakup in 1985, while enlisting the help of a bassist who wasn’t even alive during their glory days.

First of all, I have to give proper recognition to Kool & The Gang. Everyone was shocked when the late 70’s-early 80’s Disco-Funk Party Band was announced as the opener for Van Halen’s 2012 tour. It’s hard to imagine the same crowd of people attending concerts by the two diverse acts. But in all fairness, Kool & The Gang are very good at what they do. Their somewhat antiquated party anthems are still catchy, and it’s hard not to sing along once you realize you remember the words to all of their hits. The aging members of the group still perform with the energy and intensity of their heyday. The 11-member ensemble showcased the talent throughout their roster, as they took turns singing and being the featured instrumentalist. Most importantly, the members seemed to have a great time, which couldn’t help but trickle down to the audience. They obviously love what they do, which makes it hard for the crowd, even a Hair Metal crowd, not to have a great time.

And then, after an unusually long wait, it was time for the headliners to take the stage. Would I regret taking a chance on Van Halen, or would they rekindle the love for their music I had as a child? Well, every group is as strong as the sum of its parts. Let’s examine the reassembled parts of this once well-oiled machine…

Most artists sound much better on their doctored up recordings than they do live in concert. This cannot be said about veteran drummer Alex Van Halen. I was immensely impressed with the 58 year-old man pounding his drums unmercifully harder, faster, and more intensely than drummers half his age. The rhythm section of Van Halen is often overlooked due to the attention grabbing boldness of Dave’s on-stage antics and Eddie’s over the top guitar work. I now appreciate Alex Van Halen’s skills more than I ever have. He really blew me away in every song, not just his impressive drum solo. He never sounded as good on tape as he does live.

Like most of the world, I scoffed when control freak Eddie Van Halen replaced longtime bassist Michael Anthony with his then teenaged son, Wolfgang, who wasn’t even alive during the band’s glory days. This move also gave the Van Halen family three votes on band-related matters rather than two, further forcing their influence on each decision, regardless of the current singer is. This being the 20 year-old's first full tour, and my not having heard the entire new album, this concert was my first taste of Wolfgang beyond the disappointing single “Tattoo”. Could he really fill the void of the band’s legendary bassist, replacing that all-important rhythmic backbone? Fortunately, Wolfgang did not disappoint. He does seem somewhat stiff and awkward up on stage, possibly worried his dictatorial dad is looking over his shoulder, and completely unsure of how to interact with Dave’s cartoonish but sleazy antics. All things considered, Wolfgang did a great job.

I was never much of an Eddie Van Halen fan. He always seems to look and act like an obnoxious creep. I’ve always agreed he is a great guitarist, but I’m not a huge fan of the whiny noises he makes with his guitar, especially when he started experimenting with power saws and other strange items. Apparently a guitar virtuoso like Eddie Van Halen has to be heard in person to be properly appreciated. His live playing won me over, and I’m not easily impressed. I can easily see why he is so revered in the world of music. He may not be the easiest guy in the world to work with, but his amazing, one of a kind guitar skills more than make up for any personality deficiencies.

I’ve always been a huge fan of David Lee Roth. Say what you will about him, and it’s probably true, but as a front man, a showman, he has few equals. He’s flamboyant, arrogant, showy, and maybe a little bit crazy, but all of that is what makes him a legend. He also makes more wardrobe changes than a runway model, but it’s all part of his charm. Dave’s voice is still as crisp as ever, belting out songs that never sounded as good with anyone else on the mic. He may have aged since his glory days, but his star has not faded, his spark has not gone out. Diamond Dave still struts around the stage like he owns it, and Monday night he did.

One highpoint for me of the concert was that they completely omitted the band’s pop songs from their commercially successful, but musically atrocious “Van Hagar” era. Diamond Dave is back. He is and always will be Van Halen’s front man. His charm, energy, and showmanship cannot be replaced without bringing Jim Morrison back from the grave. Another highlight for me was the new song “China Town”, which I had not heard prior to the show. Simply put, this new track rocks, and is much better than first single “Tattoo.” It’s by far the best Van Halen song since 1984, and one of their hardest rocking offerings ever. Of course, the biggest highlight for me was rocking out to the favorites of my childhood. They played every song I wanted to hear: “Panama”, “Hot For Teacher”, “Jump”, “Dance The Night Away”, “You Really Got Me”, “Pretty Woman”, “Somebody Get Me a Doctor”, “Beautiful Girls”, “Ain’t Talkin’ Bout Love”, etc.

My brother in laws, neither of which were alive for the majority of Van Halen’s career, had a great time, one of which described the concert as “The greatest experience of my life”. I too enjoyed the concert. I went into it skeptical about Kool & The Gang and Van Halen re-capturing their glory days of the 70’s and 80’s, but both delivered without disappointment. I was worried whether Van Halen could put to rest their tensions, shake off the rust, and overcome the absence of Michael Anthony enough to operate as a cohesive rock unit. They did not disappoint me, far exceeding my skeptical expectations. They rocked their songs as if they hadn’t missed a day of playing together. They rocked the sold out Wells Fargo Center like a band of 20 year olds. I had a blast, liking Van Halen again for the fist time in decades. Apparently it is possible to travel back in time to “The Good Old Days”, at least for one night.

©2012 Denim McDemus

RIP Davy Jones!

RIP Davy Jones 1945-2012! Thanks for all the fun you brought to pop culture throughout so many years.
My parents grew up on The Monkees, my mom in particular being a big fan. I grew up watching the Monkees TV program, enjoying the campy fun, and singing along to my parent's Monkees LPs (yes, music was still on vinyl when I was a kid). As a teenager and adult, I grew to appreciate the more adult humor hidden below the surface of The Monkees slapstick silliness.
Davy was always my favorite Monkee, and by far the best singer of the group.
RIP Davy, and thanks for all the great times!

Movie Reviews

Here are my reviews and ratings on a scale of 1 to 10 for the films I have seen recently:

In Theaters:
“One For The Money” (2012) 6/10
One For The Money is a cute romcom staring the resurgent Katherine Heigl and Irishman Jason O’Mara.
Heigl has resurrected her career in this niche, with films such as Life as we Know It, New Years Eve, Killers, The Ugly Truth, 27 Dresses, and Knocked Up. She’s making a mint off of playing sappy lovelorn characters. O’Mara makes a successful transition to the big screen, after appearing in many television series, including the Sci-Fi hit Terra Nova.
In One For The Money, Heigl plays Stephnie Plum, a down on her luck New Jersey woman who’s recently lost her husband, job, and car. Desperate for money, she begs her cousin for a job as a bail-bondsman. The former lingerie saleswoman turned recovery agent has to quickly learn to bring in wanted criminals, including Joe Morelli (O’Mara), a possibly framed cop wanted for murder, who also broke her heart in high school, and the occasional naked old man. Plum becomes determined to bring in Morelli, more for revenge than the money, aided by a delightful group of quirky characters, including her oddball family, two humorous prostitutes, the kooky bail-bonds staff, and an over the top bounty hunter named Ranger. The love/hate tensions heat up between Plum and Morelli, as they engage in a dangerous, but romantic and comedic game of cat and mouse.
This film is not great, but it’s entertaining. The on-screen chemistry between Heigl and O’Mara, the interesting and action-packed storyline, the hilarious situations Plum gets herself into, and the delightful supporting cast make this romcom enjoyable for both men and women.

On DVD:
“The Rum Diary”(2011) 5/10
I am not a fan of the grossly overrated Hunter S. Thompson’s writing, nor the horrible attempts at adapting his novels to film. They directors always try way too hard to make the films strange and hallucinogenic, making the already uniteresting material even more contrived and forced.
The Rum Diary gets lost within itself somewhere along the way. The story never really progresses, and the film never actually goes anywhere. It’s more boring than entertaining, painful than humorous. Stagnant would be a fitting adjective. Even the usually entertaining Johnny Depp couldn’t save this film from being a dud. I really wanted to like it, but was unable to. I even watched it a second time trying to find something to like about it, but was unsuccessful. Don’t waste your time watching it.

“Anonymous” (2011) 4/10
I’m a fan of Shakespeare, history, and conspiracy theories. I agree that it’s quite possible the man we know as Shakespeare may not have written all or even any of the works we attribute to his name, or that he could be a figurehead for the works of several writers of that era. While this film only follows one of those possible scenarios, it does so convincingly, but also confusingly.
The film jumps around between several time periods, showing several of the characters throughout their lives, often without need to, and often without explaining which of the younger versions of the similar looking characters is which. This tactic may work in other films, but in this one it comes across as a sloppy chaotic mess.

“What’s Your Number” (2011) 6/10
This romcom pairs up Scary Movie alum turned romcom mainstay Anna Faris with chiseled superhero Chris Evans (The Human Torch, Captain America, Lucas Lee). Faris’ character Ally Darling enlists the help of her resourceful manwhore neighbor Colin (Evans) in tracking down her 20 exes, fearing that she may have missed out on the proverbial Mr. Right. Will Ally be too busy dwelling on past mistakes to notice the romance brewing right under her nose? You’ll have to watch the film to find out.

“A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas” (2011) 6/10
The campy characters of the Harold & Kumar series offer up yet another film full of sophomoric delight. The third installment is nowhere near as funny as the first film, but way better than the second. The NPH cameo is again the highlight of the film. If you’re up for a rowdy romp through the holiday season, check this film out. If you’re easily offended, obviously avoid this film like the plague.

On Netflix:
“Restraint” (2008) 2/10
An Australian thriller that has an interesting premise, but falls short in so many ways. It really drags on, with out much action or suspense at all. There are a lot of plot holes and improbable developments. It’s not worth watching.

“Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog”(2008) 7/10
An overly short, yet silly and enjoyable 3-Act musical series from writer director Joss Whedon of the cult hits Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Firefly. Staring the always hilarious Neil Patrick Harris as blogging wanna-be supervillain Dr. Horrible, Nathan Fillion of Firefly as his nemesis Captain Hammer, Felicia Day of cult hit Eureka as their mutua love interest, Penny, and Simon Helberg from the smash hit The Big Bang Theory as Moist, Dr. Horrible’s useless sidekick.
This series of shorts is hilarious fun for anyone not trying to take life too seriously.

“Pervert” (2005) 2/10
This ridiculous horror/comedy is barely watchable. They were obviously trying to be ridiculous and over the top, and they succeeded in that, but that’s the only way they succeeded, other than in being titillating.

“Top 13 Reasons the Entertainment World is Better Off Without Whitney Houston”

First of all, even I’m not that insensitive. I’m not celebrating her death, just her forced retirement. She was one of the worst and most overrated entertainers of all time, and unfortunately during my lifetime. Her more than a decade long spiral into self-destruction, leading to her early demise is tragic, but that doesn’t make her contributions to the entertainment world any less excruciating.

13. Whitney Houston started “acting” again, in “Sparkle” a soon to be released re-make of a 1976 film. Didn’t “The Bodyguard”, “Waiting To Exhale”, “The Preacher’s Wife” and “Rogers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella” display enough of Whitney’s pathetic acting skills?

12. She also started recording again, reportedly adding two songs to the Sparkle Soundtrack.

11. Prince can live at ease now that Whitney’s no longer stalking him at his LA concerts.

10. California liquor stores will now be fully stocked for other lush entertainers.

9. Houston’s CDs can now be used as commemorative frisbees and coasters, rather than just trap shoot targets.

8. Jon Bon Jovi can now begin his reign as the most annoying singer from New Jersey.

7. Whitney doesn’t have to come up any more ways to name albums after herself. (“Whitney Houston” “Whitney” “Just Whitney”)

6. Her voice is completely gone. She sounds like a soft-spoken troll, or someone with a cold whispering Tommy’s got the Motts. The music world already has one too many Macy Grays.

5. “The Bodyguard” is just plain awful. Like ALL of her other films, it is a remake, so there’s no originality at work at all. Pairing up Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner, two of the least talented celebrities of all time, should be a crime against humanity. But the worst thing about “The Bodyguard” is listed below at #1.

4. Bobby Brown has one less person to beat up and do drugs with.

3. No more failed Whitney Houston comeback tours for audience members to walk out on.

2. “Greatest Love of All”, yet another re-make by the uncreative Whitney Houston, was the second most annoying song of her career, hence the #2 ranking. Like the even worse song listed below, this one seems to drone on and on in sappy, vomit inducing bliss. “The Greatest Love of All” was Houston’s 3rd most successful hit, but definitely her 2nd worst song.

1. “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston is the lowest point ever in the history of the music industry. Like most of Whitney’s career “highlights”, it’s a re-make. If you were around in 1992-93, which was the epicenter of “my era”, you know that this horribly annoying, seemingly endless, whiney Whitney song was on the radio nearly non-stop. This was before the days of satellite and streaming radio and iPods. There were few choices for musical entertainment, and most of them overplayed this terrible song for about a year. It’s sappy, crappy, and almost as monotone as Ben Stein. This song is by far my worst memory of my senior year of high school, forever scarring my ears, my musical taste buds, and common decency.

R.I.P. Whitney Houston (1963-2012), a tragic death, but a sigh of relief for people with good taste in music.

©2012 Denim McDemus

Movie Review "The True Story of Puss N' Boots"

I rate movies on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the worst, ten being the best, 5 being average. A great movie will usually garner an 8, having to be incredible to rate higher than that. A movie receiving at least a 6 is good. Anything under 5 means it's pretty bad.

“The True Story of Puss N’ Boots” 1/10
This is not the upcoming Shrek spinoff, but quite possibly the worst animated film I have ever seen. It was conveniently added to Redbox just in time to cash in on the popularity of the Antonio Banderas voiced character.
The film is very awkward, and hard to watch. The animation is horrible. The characters move like marionettes, and they all look very ugly. The movement of their mouths doesn’t even come close to matching the audio. Any secondary characters with multiples look exactly alike.
The voice actors are pathetic. The queen sounds drunk. The Ogre sounds constipated. The cat is voiced by William Shatner, creating the most annoying voice I’ve ever heard, and intermixing it with nonsensical sounds and stuttering. All of the voices are annoying, and the dialogue is terrible, absurd, and forced.
The singing if pathetic. The story is clichéd and forced. The action scenes are slow paced and stiff.
I’m shocked that someone purposely made a movie this poorly. Don’t ever waste your time watching this film.

Other Films:
Win Win 8/10: Touching, entertaining, and very well acted. Shows that imperfect people can be heroes in the lives they touch.

Thor 5/10: Better than I thought it would be, and more family friendly than most recent superhero films, but not overly interesting. Thor’s not really a strong enough character to carry a film.

Everything Must Go 7/10: Touching at times, humorous at times, and enjoyable always. Will Ferrell’s few forays into serious yet quirky films such as this, "Winter Passing", and "Stranger Than Fiction" actually outshine his brilliance in slapstick comedy.

Your Highness 5/10: Could have stood on it’s own as an interesting and enjoyable fantasy genre film, but is drug down by it’s attempt at low-brow humor. They accidentally made a good fantasy film, rather than a comedic spoof.

©2011 Denim McDemus

Movie Review "Skateland"

I rate movies on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the worst, ten being the best, 5 being average. A great movie will usually garner an 8, having to be incredible to rate higher than that. A movie receiving at least a 6 is good. Anything under 5 means it's pretty bad.

"Skateland" 5/10
They did a great job of accurately recreating the atmosphere and building nostalgia. The soundtrack features a great choice of early 80’s Alternative Rock songs. The characters are likeable, but the acting is one-dimentional.
The story is depressing, and doesn’t really move forward. This film would have worked much better as a comedy or rom-com.
The ending kind of comes out of the blue. All of a sudden, the slacker guy who hasn’t put any effort into his future has the answer fall out of the sky into his hands, and he gets the girl back too.
Out of nostalgia for growing up at Roller Roost in the 80’s, I really wanted to like this film, and from that perspective I did. It really transported me back me in time. But as enjoyable as the nostalgia is, the film itself is hard to enjoy.

Other Films:
"Paul" 7/10: More hilarious fun from Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, with Seth Rogan added to the mix, and cameos from Jason Bateman, Bill Heder, David Koechner, and Jeffrey Tambor.

"Rio" 5/10: Somewhat clichéd and unoriginal, trying to be a better animated film than it is.

"Rango" 8/10: A little dark and twisted for children, but that’s what makes this Johnny Depp voiced film so good.

"Dylan Dog" 1/10: Unwatchable.

©2011 Denim McDemus

Movie Review "The Gruffalo"

I rate movies on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the worst, ten being the best, 5 being average. A great movie will usually garner an 8, having to be incredible to rate higher than that. A movie receiving at least a 6 is good. Anything under 5 means it's pretty bad.

"The Gruffalo" 8/10
This animated film based on Julia Donaldson’s book is short but very enjoyable. It’s cute, humorous, and fun.
The animation isn’t great, but it’s passable, and is outshined by the story.
The voice talent does a good job, with some recognizable names, including Helena Bonham Carter, John Hurt, and Tom Wilkinson.
The Gruffalo isn’t the greatest animated film of all time, but it’s certainly a fun way to spend 30 minutes.

Other Films:
"The Beaver" 7/10: Very well done, despite the ridiculous concept. It actually makes a lot of sense.

"Hoodwinked Too" 6/10: Not as good as the first one.

"The Conspirator" 7/10: Well done historical drama with a touch of conspiracy theory about one of America’s foggiest crimes.

"Take Me Home Tonight" 2/5: Boring, depressing, poorly acted, and full if anachronisms.



©2011 Denim McDemus