Friday, October 7, 2011
Movie Review "Skateland"
"Skateland" 5/10
They did a great job of accurately recreating the atmosphere and building nostalgia. The soundtrack features a great choice of early 80’s Alternative Rock songs. The characters are likeable, but the acting is one-dimentional.
The story is depressing, and doesn’t really move forward. This film would have worked much better as a comedy or rom-com.
The ending kind of comes out of the blue. All of a sudden, the slacker guy who hasn’t put any effort into his future has the answer fall out of the sky into his hands, and he gets the girl back too.
Out of nostalgia for growing up at Roller Roost in the 80’s, I really wanted to like this film, and from that perspective I did. It really transported me back me in time. But as enjoyable as the nostalgia is, the film itself is hard to enjoy.
Other Films:
"Paul" 7/10: More hilarious fun from Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, with Seth Rogan added to the mix, and cameos from Jason Bateman, Bill Heder, David Koechner, and Jeffrey Tambor.
"Rio" 5/10: Somewhat clichéd and unoriginal, trying to be a better animated film than it is.
"Rango" 8/10: A little dark and twisted for children, but that’s what makes this Johnny Depp voiced film so good.
"Dylan Dog" 1/10: Unwatchable.
©2011 Denim McDemus
Movie Review "The Gruffalo"
"The Gruffalo" 8/10
This animated film based on Julia Donaldson’s book is short but very enjoyable. It’s cute, humorous, and fun.
The animation isn’t great, but it’s passable, and is outshined by the story.
The voice talent does a good job, with some recognizable names, including Helena Bonham Carter, John Hurt, and Tom Wilkinson.
The Gruffalo isn’t the greatest animated film of all time, but it’s certainly a fun way to spend 30 minutes.
Other Films:
"The Beaver" 7/10: Very well done, despite the ridiculous concept. It actually makes a lot of sense.
"Hoodwinked Too" 6/10: Not as good as the first one.
"The Conspirator" 7/10: Well done historical drama with a touch of conspiracy theory about one of America’s foggiest crimes.
"Take Me Home Tonight" 2/5: Boring, depressing, poorly acted, and full if anachronisms.
©2011 Denim McDemus
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
“The Top 25 Albums That Helped Define Me”
As for the criteria: These are full albums from the era I grew up in, from childhood through my teens, which had an impact on my pop culture experience, and the future of my taste in music. These are the albums I wore out, singing along to the soundtrack of my life.
Music is a big part of pop culture, and a big part of my life. It always has been. It always will be. Sure, there are years, even decades, in which the musical crop is pretty weak, but the best thing about music is that it doesn’t fade away. Those great old songs of classic eras gone by, that each generation grew up with and still hold dear, are still available to us, to pump out of our speakers and into our minds, to fill the void when musical resuscitation is needed.
Fortunately, I grew up in a great era for music. I was also born and raised on the great Rock Music of my parents’ generation. There’s great background music augmenting all of my favorite memories of childhood and adolescence. Here are some of the albums that made a lasting impact on my life:
25. Billy Joel “The Stranger”/The Beatles “Abby Road”
The first 2 “adult” albums I owned on vinyl. Before them, I had quite a collection of Sesame Street albums, and a bunch of 45’s of Early 80’s hits, but these 2 epic albums were my first foray into adult LPs. No, I wasn’t alive for one’s release, and was in diapers for the other, but music doesn’t have to be current to be appreciated. The word “classic” exists for a reason, and these 2 albums help to show why.
24. Billy Joel “An Innocent Man”
Again, this is a historical pick, representing a milestone in my personal musical enjoyment. “An Innocent Man” was the very first cassette tape I ever owned (soon to be followed by Van Halen’s 1984). Cassettes were the new medium, and Walkmans were all the rage. I chose to fill mine with this great storybook album, in which all the songs seem to fit together into the greater scheme of a story, inviting us to fill in the blanks in between, connecting the very enjoyable songs.
23. “Singles” Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
One of the many examples in the 1990’s of a soundtrack being better than the movie, the Singles Soundtrack stood out in refreshing brilliance. It introduced the rest of the world to many of the Pacific Northwest’s hidden jewels, such as Chris Cornell (with and without Soundgarden), Mudhoney, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, and Screaming Trees, plus Midwesterners Smashing Pumpkins, while treating us to an all-time great in Jimi Hendrix. The film is boring to say the least, but the soundtrack greatly improved the musical landscape, and hinted at brighter things on the horizon.
22. Nirvana “Nevermind”
Because of when I was in high school, you knew this had to be on here. As clichéd as citing this album may be, its impact on the pop culture and Rock Music scene of the 90’s and beyond can’t be denied. Nirvana didn’t invent “Alternative” Rock, or even the Seattle Grunge sound. What they did was perfect both for one brief moment, long enough to break into mainstream America’s consciousness, and pave the way for the bands that would follow, and even some which came before them. Nirvana took the music world by storm, kicked it in the butt, sprayed graffiti on it, and put it back where they found it, forever changed, never able to go back to what it had been. Even though their follow up efforts were greatly inferior, “Nevermind” is the album that made Rock Music cool again.
21. “The Crow” Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
An exception to the rule in the 90’s, since the soundtrack and the film were both good, the album mirrored the dark tones of the movie quite well. Most of the featured bands had been around for a while, but weren’t really on the mainstream public’s radar. Most people may still not be overly familiar with some of these bands, but I guarantee they recognize the songs that were in the film.
20. They Might Be Giants “Flood”
Was any other album ever so much fun? Full of catchy, quirky songs that force you to sing along, and demand you get up and dance, TMBG made a big impact on “Alternative” Rock with this great album. They were welcome comic relief to the sappiness dominating Hair Rock, and the intense subject matter of its replacement, Grunge. This album caught them at their campy finest.
19. Smashing Pumpkins “Siamese Dream”
“Siamese Dream” is a very beautiful sonic assault on the eardrums and the music world. Billy Corgan and crew may be better known for their later Pop songs, imaginative videos, and internal strife, but “Siamese Dream” is one of the most magnificent Rock masterpieces of all time. Never before have I felt so serene while something bashed in my skull.
18. Pink Floyd “The Wall”/”Dark Side of the Moon”
Is there anyone with a pulse who wasn’t influenced by these 2 epic masterpieces from this brilliant band? Again, like with “An Innocent Man”, the songs on these concept albums fit together into epic sagas that would be missed by casually listening to only the separate singles. These albums tickle our ears with great music, while exercising our minds with their complex themes. Never again could listening to music be casual or passive.
17. Misfits “Collection”
This is a great compilation of some of the best songs from one of the most enjoyable bands of all time. This album is filled with fun sing-along songs such as “Die, Die My Darling”, “Skulls”, “Mommy Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight”, and “Teenagers From Mars”. Danzig, Jerry Only, and crew took the genres of Punk and Metal, melded them with a love for Sci-Fi/Horror B-Movies, and created a sound all their own. Themes of anger, not fitting in, and non-conformity struck a chord with those of us dealing with the same, while lightening the mood of those same subjects with dark humor. This collection brought together the highlights that are hard not to love.
16. Concrete Blonde “Bloodletting”
A great Goth album with vampiric overtones, at a time when the works of Anne Rice and the new version of “Dark Shadows” made vampire pop culture much cooler than today’s “Twilight” nonsense. Brilliantly dark songs like “The Best”, “The Darkening of the Light”, “The Sky is a Poisonous Garden”, and “Tomorrow Wendy” flanked the singles “Joey” and “Caroline”, which both brilliantly expressed themes of loss, confusion, and unrequited love. Unfortunately, Concrete Blonde’s follow up efforts paled in comparison, but “Bloodletting” remains a favorite of early 90’s Alternative Rock and Goth fans to this day.
15. Dead Kennedys “Give Me Convenience or Give me Death”
80’s Punk greats Dead Kennedys were always political, always controversial, and always a lot of fun. Jello Biafra’s whiney voice sang out lines we love to sing along, but not in front of our parents. This compilation is filled with classics such as “California Uber Alles”, “Holiday in Cambodia”, “Police Truck”, “Night of the Living Rednecks”, and the legendary, only once performed “Pull My Strings”. This collection of their best public-shocking songs proves the clichéd ad slogan, “There’s always room for Jello.” Stop fighting with each other and reunite already!
14. New Order “Substance”
Following Ian Curtis’ poorly-timed suicide, the remaining 3 members of Joy Division regrouped, refocused, and reinvented themselves as New Order. 80’s New Wave’s best Electro Pop group treated us to such gems as “True Faith”, “Bizarre Love Triangle”, “Blue Monday”, “Procession”, and many other early singles, which were collected on 1987’s “Substance”. A friend and fellow fan gave me this double cassette set, and I enjoyed it greatly (although I think he stole it from someone else).
13. Husker Du “Warehouse Songs & Stories”/“New Day Rising”
Husker Du had the intensity of Punk, mixed with the ability to write gorgeous Pop songs, with a bitter rivalry thrown in for good measure. Bob Mould and Grant Hart pushed each other to greatness by trying desperately to outdo each other. Many of these songs are all-time classics, that were somehow overlooked by most music fans. Had Husker Du survived into the 90’s, they would have become “Alternative” Rock superstars, but alas, only the good die young.
12. INXS “Kick”
This great album produced so many memorable singles, yet some of its greatest treasures are hidden amongst them. It’s impossible to hear one of these classic songs without expecting the next album track to immediately follow it.
Another major impact this album had on my adolescence was when The Young Studs performed our inspired rendition of “Never Tear Us Apart”, to the delight of many young ladies at Caesar’s Brookedale’s talent show. We won. Was there ever any doubt?
11. Nine Inch Nails “Pretty Hate Machine”
In a year dominated by Rap music, underground Industrial one-man band Nine Inch Nails provided much appreciated relief with this unbeatable album. “Pretty Hate Machine” is filled with well-written, well-performed songs, that flow into each other perfectly from beginning to end, the highlight of which being side one’s last track, the orgasmic “Something I Can Never Have”.
One key personal memory involving this album was at my graduating class’s all night party. Two friends and I kept bugging the DJ all night to play “Head Like A Hole”, until he finally relented (just to shut us up). The 3 of us had a great time dancing to it, while everyone else sat around asking each other “What in the world is that?”
10. Depeche Mode “Violator”
English Electro Pop band Depeche Mode had been around for a long time, and had released many great songs by 1990, but “Violator” was by far their pinnacle. It was their musical coming out party, and it was darn near perfect. The gorgeous “Enjoy The Silence” and the beat-driven “Personal Jesus” were deservedly big hits, but songs like “Halo”, “World In My Eyes”, “Policy of Truth”, and “Sweetest Perfection” were equally spectacular. Enjoy the Depeche Mode of the 80’s and the Depeche Mode of today, but make sure you listen to “Violator”, the band’s greatest moment preserved forever.
9. Sonic Youth “Dirty”
Noise Rock/Feedback Rock pioneers Sonic Youth blessed the music world with their earlier masterpieces, such as “Daydream Nation”, but 1992’s “Dirty” was the album that dominated the my late teen years. I even had a hard to find poster of the album cover on my closet door. I really feel bad for the many people who never discovered this underrated album by this underrated band. “Chapel Hill”, “Sugar Cane”, “Youth Against Fascism”, “JC”, “100%”, these are some of the greatest Rock songs of all time, and you need to hear them. Trust me, your ears will thank you, once they get used to the feedback.
8. Violent Femmes “Self-titled”
My friends and I always had a great time bopping along to the infectious songs of this delightful album, while cruising around in my friend Scott’s car. We also shocked a lot of pop culturally brainwashed people by playing Femmes songs at the one high school and one college dance that my dad and I DJed. How can an album that’s so much fun be so controversial? America needs to stop taking itself so seriously.
7. The Clash “The Story of the Clash”
I grew up in the “Combat Rock” era, but The Clash’s greatest hits album introduced me to their wonderful older material as well. Along with the Ramones and the Sex Pistols, the Clash helped to forever change the world’s musical landscape with songs including “Should I Stay or Should I Go”, “The Guns of Brixton”, “This is Radio Clash”, “Career Opportunities”, and of course “London Calling”. This double cassette was one of my favorites in my massive tape collection, and easily influenced my future musical interests.
6. Social Distortion “Self-titled”
The moment I first heard “Ball and Chain” on the before-its-time Sunday Morning Alternative Show, I fell in love with the unadulterated, Rock N’ Roll the way it was meant to be done, music of Mike Ness and Social Distortion. The Country Rock undertones and old-school guitar riffs added a great Americana feel to this Punk album. Throw in a bold cover of Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire”, amid great story songs like “She’s a Knockout”, “So Far Away”, “Sick Boys”, and “Story of My Life”, and you have one of the best albums of all time to rock out to for an extremely enjoyable listening experience.
5. The Doors “Greatest Hits”
What can be said about The Lizard King that hasn’t already been beaten to death? The Doors brief career, which realistically ended with Jim Morrison’s death, left the world with many songs that are hard not to love. Morrison’s poetic lyrics, addicting persona, and haunting voice made a huge impact on my writing, singing, and musical tastes, and my life in general. Was he a great role model on how to live life? No. But as a vocalist and frontman he’s only rivaled by Sinatra, and as a lyricist he’s second to none. Crooning along to this collection wore out my voice many a nights.
4. The Ramones “Mania”
The real history of Rock music began in the mid 70’s with the Ramones. The Beatles and Stones are often cited as the greatest bands of all time, but no band has had more influence on the Rock genre than the leather and jeans clad foursome from NYC. They put Punk Rock, Modern Rock, fast and furious music, and the New York Scene all on the map with a fury. This collection containing some of their all-time best work certainly hit the spot for me, and for anyone looking for great songs to stir up the heart and get the blood flowing. In an imperfect world, the Ramones took up the banner of imperfect people and ran with it, letting us all know that it was ok to be ourselves again. This album is a great place to start for anyone searching for good music done right.
3. Dead Milkmen “Beelzebubba”
Presenting Philly’s finest at their finest, I don’t know of any other album that has so many classic songs with so many classic lyrics. Creativity and dark humor are at their very best in songs like “Stuart”, “I Walk The Thinnest Line”, “Ringo Buys A Rifle”, “RC’s Mom”, and the all-time classic “Punk Rock Girl”, despite its mistaking of the Mammas and the Pappas for the Beach Boys. Minnie Pearl trumps all, I suppose. If you’ve never heard this album, do yourself a favor, and treat your ears and your sense of humor to this much needed enema.
2. “Pump Up The Volume” Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Here’s a rare occurrence where one of the greatest films of all time also produced one of the greatest soundtracks of all time. The movie was filled with great, obscure tunes, some in the background, others played on Happy Harry’s pirate radio show. The soundtrack offers us a well-chosen, yet small sampling of them. Some highlights include the slowed-down “UK Surf” version of the Pixies “Wave of Mutilation”, Henry Rollins and Bad Brains combining to cover MC5’s “Kick Out The Jams”, Concrete Blonde’s rendition of Leonard Cohen’s “Everybody Knows”, Peter Murphy, Soundgarden, Sonic Youth, the list goes on and on. This film and its soundtrack were hugely influential in my life, and helped mold me into the person I now am proud to be.
1. The Cure “Disintegration”
“Disintegration” has the greatest production value ever of albums Alan Parsons didn’t have his hands into. This album is dynamic from beginning to end, with no weak spots at all. It was my introduction to the Cure, and the album that made me fall in love with “Alternative” Rock in general. The signature single, “Love Song”, is so good that I’m dancing to it at my upcoming wedding. It expresses love in that self-conscious, afraid to dare expose yourself to happiness, “you make me better than I am” kind of way that only Robert Smith can convey. Songs like “Lullaby”, “Pictures of You”, and “Fascination Street” keep the legendary Cure gloom and doom alive and well, as the master rarely strays from the art he perfected. This album truly changed my life musically, and was the catalyst to the life I would lead from then on, from a pop culture standpoint anyway.
Honorable Mention:
Agent Orange “This is the Voice”
Bad Religion “Recipe For Hate”
Barenaked Ladies “Maybe You Should Drive”
Black Flag “Damaged”
Circle Jerks “Golden Shower of Hits”
The Cure “Standing on a Beach”
Descendants “Milo Goes to College”
Dinosaur Jr. “Green Mind”
Frank Sinatra “80th: All The Best”
Guns N’ Roses “Appetite For Destruction”
KMFDM “Angst”
Less Than Jake “Losing Streak”
Metallica “And Justice For All”
Ministry “Psalm 69”
P.I.L. “Greatest Hits”
Pixies “Doolittle”
Poison “Open Up & Say Ahhh”
Radiohead “Pablo Honey”
Rev. Horton Heat “The Full-Custom Gospel Sounds of”
Sex Pistols “Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols”
The Smiths “Meat is Murder”
Teenage Fanclub “Bandwagonesque”
U2 “War”
The Vandals “Hitler Bad, Vandals Good”
Weezer “Self-Titled” (aka “The Blue Album”)
Monday, November 22, 2010
“Why Star Wars Is Great”
Now don’t misunderstand me, when I say Star Wars, I mean the original three-film trilogy that I grew up with. I am not including the “Special Editions” with “additional footage” that George Lucas released to cash in on the original trilogy’s continued popularity. He took some footage off the cutting room floor, slapped it in, and marketed it to the college-age Gen Xers, who had been children during the films’ original theatrical runs.
Nor am I talking about the CGI-driven, profit-seeking prequel trilogy. The prequels have some great moments, but not their own moments, just nostalgia moments for those of us who love the original trilogy and its characters.
And when I speak of “The Trilogy”, I am certainly not talking about the Lord of the Rings films, which are ok, but not great at all, unless you like documentaries about walking long distances. The original Star Wars Trilogy is a brilliant slice of Pop Culture History, which needs to be cherished as such by all generations.
I will start off by telling you that I am not a “Fanboy”, but a fan. I can’t tell you what planet Grand Moff Tarkin is from, or who played the Gamorrean Guards. But I have always been a big fan of the films and their characters, having grown up in the wonderful 1980’s, the best time in history to be a kid. We had the best toys, the best cartoons, and the best movies.
Now, let’s get to the reasons Star Wars is great…
1. Sci-Fi Impact
Star Wars made the Space Genre, and Sci-Fi in general, cool again for the first time since Star Trek.
I’ve never understood the rivalry between fans of the two most influential Sci-Fi creations of all time. If you’re a true fan of Sci-Fi, and/or the Space Genre, how can you not love both?
The fact that both are still popular today, and both series continue to release new content in one form or another speaks to their cultural impact. And add in the countless Sci-Fi films and TV shows that were inspired by them, or at very least influenced by them, and definitely were made possible by their popularity, and you see where I’m going with this.
Is there anyone living in a modernized part of the world today, who hasn’t heard of Star Wars, and wouldn’t recognize it’s major characters? I doubt it.
2. Great Characters
That brings me to point number two: Star Wars has the best characters of any film in history.
What little boy growing up in the 1980’s didn’t long to be Han Solo? What little girl didn’t try to fix her hair like Princess Leia, and then try to do so again in their college days? Who wasn’t terrified of Darth Vader as a child, and then idolized him as an adolescent and young adult? Who doesn’t admire Boba Fett’s cool and intimidating presence, despite barely saying a word? Who doesn’t appreciate the Laurel & Hardy, Abbot & Costello, straight man/foil, comic relief of the droids, R2D2 and 3CPO? They were HILARIOUS! And you just know R2 is cussing 3PO out 90% of the time, in whatever curse words droids use!
And we got to see the growth of the main characters throughout the trilogy, as we grew up ourselves. We see Luke’s progression from an annoying, nerdy farmboy, mourning the loss of his family and his mentor, to become an annoying and nerdy, yet very powerful Jedi Master, saving the world in the process. We witness Han’s progression from a selfish criminal, to a galactic hero with love in his heart. We watch Leia grow from a demanding, spoiled brat princess, to a levelheaded leader, who leads by example, and a great encourager to those around her. We’re engrossed as we watch Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker transform from a brutal, machine-like tyrant, to a loving father and a last minute hero, with flashes of the humanity within him peeking out along the way. We see Yoda progress from a strange thief with mixed up grammar, to a brilliant master, imparting to us such brilliant philosophies as, “Do or do not. There is no try.”
And these films make you care about the wellbeing of their characters. You have to care about them, because you grew up with them. You worry when they are in danger. You feel for them when they are sad. You cheer with them when they are victorious.
And what’s cooler than a Wookie? Nothing!
3. The Subtle Messages Within
When we watched these films as kids, to us, it was all about The Rebel Alliance vs. The Empire, but that wasn’t the only battle being portrayed within.
It was also a metaphor for Good vs. Evil, Right from Wrong.
Being released at the height of the Cold War, it was also an Anti-Communism, Anti-Imperialism statement.
It also mirrors Christianity, with the battle of good vs. evil, the false savior coming first and taking over the world, and then being defeated by the true savior, who uses an unseen force within him to defeat evil and darkness once and for all, and make the world a better place.
With the little guys beating the rich and powerful Empire, it’s also a great metaphor for “The Battle of the Underdog”.
4. The Toys!
All of you who grew up in the 80’s will agree with me, there never has been, and never will be, better toys than Kenner’s Star Wars line of toys.
Their 3.75” plastic action figures, complete with detachable weapons and accessories, became the industry standard that all future toy lines strove to replicate. GI Joe toys in the 80’s may have been more intricate, but they own it all to the popularity and way-paving of Star Wars toys.
5. Still A Factor
Even now, decades later, as the original fans begin to show signs of aging, Star Wars is still relevant in today’s Popular Culture. The original fans are still as passionate as ever, and new generations of fans are born every day.
The original Star Wars Trilogy is still great, and always will be. Its impact is here to stay.
©2010 Denim McDemus
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Absence Explained
I may write a blog about Knoebel's Amusement Resort, and a Top 13 List of the greatest Knoebel's rides of all time in the near future, so check back. Drop me a line if you have suggestions for the list.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Top 13 Worst Songs of All Time
So, without further adieu, here's this week's Top 13 List:
"The Top 13 Worst Songs of All Time"
13. "Big Yellow Taxi" by Joni Mitchell or Counting Crows or ANYONE!
A just plain annoying song! Being campy, cutsie, and causey all make this song HORRENDOUS! Poorly written, and poorly delivered in every version I’ve been unfortunate enough to hear.
12. "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus
You knew it would be on here at some point. I had the unfortunate luck of hearing this song live when I worked at the TV station. Even for $11 an hour, it still wasn't worth it to have to endure the 3:40 of hell that is "Achy Breaky Heart".
11. " Lemon" by U2
What the heck was that crap? 100% unlistenable!
10. "Baby's Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot
A lot of people are humored by this song. Coincidentally, a lot of people have a 12 year old maturity level. This song is asinine at best (no pun intended). Very annoying. If you were alive during it's heyday, you know how often it was played EVERYWHERE, which is highly inappropriate when you think of the content. What a stupid song!
9. "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia
Idk why this song was popular. It annoyed the crap out of me. Terrible song, terrible lyrics, and she has the most emotionless singing voice I've ever heard. Her inflection never changes! Apparently she’s not really all that “torn”.
8. "Hip Hop Hooray" by Naughty By Nature
This song is nonsensical, lame, and utterly annoying. I'm down with OPP as much as the next guy, but they should have left it at that. This song stinks! They just keep saying "Hey ho, hey ho, hey ho, hey ho" about 27,000 times. What does that mean? Are they calling for a deaf hooker, or are they just TRYING to be annoying as hell? You be the judge...
7. “Womanizer” by Britney Spears
When I first heard this song (in a music store no less!), the only thought that dominated my mind was, “What the heck is that crap?” It’s bad even for Britney. She can’t sing, at all, and she ruined music, because every girl younger than her grew up trying to sound just like her!
6. "Unforgettable" by Natalie Cole
Who the heck does this chick this she is? Making her brilliant dad sing BACKGROUND, to HER crappy vocals, on HIS signature song? Does ego know no bounds? I'm sorry sister, but you can't even hold a candle to your old man!
5. “Clumsy” by Fergie
The annoying beat, her annoying voice, the terrible lyrics, and the extremely nerve-racking “girl can’t help it” and whatever unintelligible words she yells back parts make this song one of the worst ever. And let’s not forget how annoying the “I don’t stay single long” ego trip speech is. This song almost makes me pull out my own eardrums.
4. “LoveGame” by Lady GaGa
Sigh. What can I say about Lady GaGa? Every one of her songs I hear belongs on this list, but this is the worst of them. The terribly asinine and perverted lyrics, the annoying beat, her robotic voice, the line “I wanna take a ride on your disco stick”, I’m not sure what is the worst part. It’s VERY hard to believe there are 3 worse songs than this!
3. "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
WOW! Does it get much worse than this? Unfortunately and amazingly yes, since this is only at number 3. She just goes on and on with this sappy crappy utter garbage! She makes 4 ½ minutes seem like a lifetime! Did you ever eat an ENTIRE bag of Sour Patch Kids? Too much sugar? Yeah, exactly! I get the same effect from hearing this "song". If it was JUST sappy, maybe I'd just ignore it, but this song is SO BAD it's literally sickening! Whitney, I vomit on your song. Maybe Bobby can beat the crappiness out of you?
2. "Don't Stop The Music" by Rihanna
This song is SO HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, and ANNOYING that every copy of it should be smashed, melted, and jettisoned into space, so it's NEVER played again! If you have it on your computer, I'm going to break into your house, smash your hard drive, and sell the pieces on E-Bay as garbage barge cargo.
She just KEEPS saying, "please don't stop the music" OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, and I so desperately WANT the music to stop! It made me actually want to smash the radio the 1000 times a day it came on during its recent heyday. This may well be the worst song of all time, and if I hear it even one more time, it will probably move into the number 1 spot. Most of her other songs belong on this list too.
1. "Gypsy Woman (She's Homeless)" by Crystal Waters
This TERRIBLY ANNOYING "song" has been the number one worst for about 17 years! All other crappy songs (with the exception of " Don't Stop The Music") pale in comparison. If she was aiming for crappiness, she succeeded in abundance. Her voice is HORRIBLE, the lyrics are TERRIBLE, and it's SO ANNOYING! I HATE IT! She just keeps saying "lada di lada da lada di lada da" over and over! It annoys the heck out of me! It's supposed to be a "socially conscious" song, but after about the 800th "Lada di lada da", I could care less if she's homeless or not! Worst song ever (but "Don't Stop The Music" is creeping up, and threatening Crystal's 17 year reign).
So yeah, that's my list. Hope you enjoyed the ranting.
If you have any suggestions, please post them as blog comments. I'm open to suggestions. I'm sure there's quite a few worthy songs I forgot.
Close to making the list were the crappy slow remake of The Cure's "Boys Don't Cry" by idk who, and the crappy white boy reggae remake 311 did of The Cure's "Love Song". If you're gonna remake a Cure song, at least do it well. Do it the same way they did it, to pay homage to them. Don't change the style of the song, because you can't improve on perfection! That's like scribbling in a coloring book, and saying it's better than Rembrandt.
Honorable Mention:
“Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In” by The Fifth Dimension
“Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis
“Faith in Nothing” by Eve 6
“Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani
“Jive Talkin” by Bee Gees
“Le Freak” by Chic
“Love In This Club” by Usher
“Love Song” by 311
“Poker Face” by Lady GaGa
“Rico Suave” by Gerardo
“Whoomp There It Is” by Tag Team
“With You” by Chris Brown
©2010 Denim McDemus
Thursday, June 3, 2010
“Top 13 Pop Culture Heroes on TV”
Most of them aren’t the main characters of their shows, but were very popular supporting characters that really added to the entertainment value of their programs. A few of them are main characters that really carried their show.
Some of them are quirky, some are funny, some are cool, and some are just plain weird. Some of them are bad guys you just had to cheer for. All of them stand out as Pop Culture Heroes!
13. Q (Star Trek The Next Generation)
12. Glen Quagmire (Family Guy)
11. Carl Brutananadilewski (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
10. Norm Peterson (Cheers)
9. Evelyn William “Bill” McNeal (NewsRadio)
8. “The Man From Another Place” (Twin Peaks)
7. George Jefferson (The Jeffersons)
6. Lenny Kosnowski and Andrew “Squiggy” Squigman (Lavern and Shirley)
5. Cosmo Kramer (Seinfeld)
4. Fred Sanford (Sanford and Son)
3. Archie Bunker (All In The Family)
2. Arthur “Fonzi” Fonzarelli (Happy Days)
1. Al Bundy (Married With Children)
Honorable Mention:
Bosco Albert “BA” Baracus/H.M. “Howling Mad” Mudock (A-Team)
Dr. Johnny Fever (WKRP in Cincinnati)
Dwayne Schneider (One Day at a Time)
Eddie Haskell (Leave it to Beaver)
Frederick “Rerun” Stubbs (What’s Happening!!)
Major Roger Healey (I Dream of Jeanie)
Margaret “The Log Lady” Lanterman (Twin Peaks)
Monroe Ficus (Too Close For Comfort)
Montgomery “Scotty” Scott (Star Trek)
Sophia Petrillo (Golden Girls)
Tattoo (Fantasy Island)
Ted Baxter (The Mary Tyler Moore Show)
©2010 Denim McDemus
